Prominent Lawyers Get Special Treatment at Joe's -- All is Well With the World!

My Herald gag reflex usually doesn't kick in until Tuesdays (for obvious reasons), but it came a day early this week.

Let's see -- we're now in the middle of three wars and there is an unprecedented nuclear crisis in Japan, in addition to thousands lost and many more suffering from the devastating earthquake and tsunami.

Not to mention unemployment, gas prices, global warming yada yada yada.

And all the President wants to do is work on his bracket!

But do not fear, my childrens, because Akerman's Mike Abrams has his very own gold plaque and table at Joe's:

Don’t see his name on it? Look to the right, on the wall, where there’s a gold plaque – the only one like it in the place – that reads very clearly, “Reserved for MIKE ABRAMS.”

A gold plaque?

In my view that's quite humble and modest -- remember, it could have been platinum.

Ok, I'm all for Joe's and lunch there frequently.  The food's great, the atmosphere is very New York busy, and you do see tons of people you know.

However, if I ever wind up in an article like this, regaling the special treatment accorded to prominent attorneys who lunch there and schmooze with Anthony and my buddy Steve, you have my absolute permission not only to note that I have "jumped the shark" but to just shoot me dead.

Let's round up the usual suspects:

For example, on a recent Tuesday, KnoxSeaton senior principal George Knox sat on the inner left side, declaring deadpan, “I’m not a power player and I’m not a regular.” Too bad he was belied by Sawitz, who seated him prominently at a table he later declared (while grinning) had been reserved for Legal Legends, a distinction Knox had received in 2010 from the 11{+t}{+h} Judicial Circuit Historical Society. Knox was lunching with general litigation attorney Pamela Chavies, hoping she’d agree to help plan a scholarship component of the 2012 convention for Sigma Pi Phi, an 8,000-member organization of African-American professionals.
“It’s a social luncheon around a business topic,” says Knox.

Just behind him, construction king Bobby Castellano sat with Victoria Palacios, the vice president of sales for his new (and still confidential) conservation business, discussing with her and insurance exec John Lander a $25 million policy for a key man in the company.

One table over was banker-turned-University of Miami chairman Leonard Abess Jr., sitting with UM board member, beverage and automotive executive Manny Kadre. Also there: Weiss Serota Helfman managing partner Michael Popok eating with Katz Barron partner John Squitero; novelty manufacturer Sam Hollander celebrating his birthday with Gordon Miller and Isaac Serure; and research associate professor of biomedical engineering, radiology and family medicine at University of Miami, Dr. Edward Dauer with his daughter, Allison Dauer, a nurse at Bascom Palmer’s pediatric ENT clinic.

Other Joe’s regulars include: Best Buddies International founder, Anthony Shriver; Miami Beach Community leader Stu Blumberg; former Miami Beach mayor and Akerman Senterfitt partner Neisen Kasdin; Judge Rosa Rodriguez; trial lawyer Aaron Podhurst; commercial property negotiator Lyle Stern; actress and activist Sharon Gless; and real estate lawyer Steve Helfman.

(Yawn)

Wait a minute -- Sharon Gless??

Are you s&^*ing me?

Beautiful and enchanting veteran 70s TV star, who appeared in such memorable fare as the Eddie Albert/Robert Wagner crime caper series Switch, or as the replacement for Lynn Redgrave in the TV version of the Walter Matthau film House Calls?

Well then, I take everything back.

(Note -- I recently asked Sharon to sign the above Switch fan photo last week at Joe's.  Sure, my lunch partner Aaron Podhurst was a bit unsure how to handle it when I took the photo and pen from my jacket and went running over for an autograph, I mean it was kind of a big scene and they had to call security and I never did get to finish my Key Lime pie, but what can I say -- the heart wants what the heart wants).

Akerman Thanks Litigation Gods for Chinese Drywall!

It's important to note the litigation requires (at least) two sides, and there has to be something close to a fair fight, or the other side will just find something else to do.

For example, the white-shoe law firms representing former Fannie Mae executives have been feasting at the public trough, billing at least $132 million defending against various shareholder and other lawsuits directed at the bank's allegedly fraudulent business practices.

This is my favorite part of that story:

DeWine cited the deposition of Franklin Raines from April, when the plaintiffs were the only ones asking questions. Although the Fannie Mae defendants had 13 lawyers present, none asked a single question.

DeWine also testified that when the judge has conferences to check on the status of the litigation, Fannie Mae defendants typically bring 35 to 40 attorneys and paralegals, while the plaintiffs normally show up with just three.

Of course!

I'm surprised there were only 13 lawyers at that deposition.

DeWine is obviously not familiar with how I roll when an important client is being deposed -- I have two associates carry my documents, another sets up the laptop, three are passing me post-its during the depo, one is logged into Egotastic, four glare at opposing counsel, and two watch with rapt awe as I utter the only words I will speak during the entire episode:  "object to form."

Ca-ching!

Speaking of greenbacks, Julie Kay and her amazing sources reveal that Akerman is riding the Chinese Drywall train all the way to payday:

“We were pleased with the year, and I think it got progressively better as it went on,” Smulian said.

Litigation work, the firm’s largest single practice area, was up 15 percent. He credited work on consumer finance, Chinese drywall and class action litigation.

Doesn't it suck when one of those big matters goes away?  You always want to be successful, but not too successful.

It's like professional wrestling, but without the overweight men in tights.

(Actually, I take that last part back.)

Shortening Law Firm Names -- the Good, the Bad, the Ugly (aka GBU LLP)

I love this consultant-driven trend to shorten law firm names -- you now have venerable institutions with long distinguished histories shortened down to within an inch of their professional lives -- Akerman, Ruden, Gunster etc.

Indeed, if you add an exclamation point you'd have a nice title for a Broadway play -- Akerman! starring Nathan Lane, previews start March 1......and coming this fall Ruden! with Christine Ebersole, tickets available September 1st....

I see the latest to join the name-shortening trend is Fort Lauderdale's Brinkley, Morgan, Solomon, Tatum, Stanley, Lunny & Gordon LLP, now reduced simply to Brinkley Morgan.

Partner Roberta Stanley explains the thinking behind the change:

Stanley joined the Fort Lauderdale law firm 1996, back when at least a half-dozen partner names were stenciled on the door.

But over time as old partners leave and new ones join letterhead, business cards and logo designs have to be redone to reflect the changes. The cycle is never-ending and once again the firm has to reintroduce itself to the community.

So Stanley sought the advice of consultants and feedback from her co-workers. Simplifying, going back to basics was the consensus. The firm name now honors its founder: W. Michael Brinkley, who passed away this past November; and its managing partner, Philip Morgan, who joined the firm when it opened in 1975.

"It's what's in the best interest of everyone," said Stanley. "It's the future, to be recognized with a strong contemporary name." A streamlined website and logo accompanies the streamlined name.

The process became an opportunity for the firm to create a marketing campaign built around the rebranding, says Stanley. The new look and new name is more inviting and memorable, she says. That's important in attracting new talent as well as being transparent for clients.

Revamping the website allowed the firm to refresh attorney bios, ease navigation, and provide information.

Ok, I actually think this is an improvement, but why stop there?

What about "BM" -- it's short, catchy and people immediately know what you're talking about.

(On second thought, Brinkley Morgan is probably a safer choice).