Peter Halmos -- Will His Ship Ever Come In?

That toe-tappin' crippled yacht case is slowly limping to port, as the parties prepare their post-trial proposed findings of fact and conclusions of law.

And the beat goes on.

It took me all morning to read Steve Marino's excellent 85-page brief, which sets forth in exquisite detail the mountain of commercial litigation required to get the parties to this point (and they're not even done yet).

I guess one SIMPLY AMAZING! thing that fascinates me about this case is the uncontrollable variables that have entered into what should otherwise be a straightforward insurance coverage dispute.

Between the lawyers, the rulings, the clients and the witnesses you have a near-perfect s@#tstorm of what can go wrong when parties engage in f*$k the costs, balls-to-the-wall litigation.

It's almost an ideal case study for commercial litigators in that the subject matter could be anything -- widgets, yachts, whatever -- and the disputes seem both wildly impossible yet depressingly familiar to any of us who do this for a living.

Turning back to Roy Black's intriguing suggestions for UM Law, how in the hail do you teach kids to handle crap like this?

Seriously, how do you -- or even should you -- teach law students to do this type of litigation effectively?

Efficiently?

In such a way that they don't leave the office at night stupefied, screaming at the walls, drinking themselves to oblivion on a Tuesday, and allegedly challenging their girlfriends to naked post-shower sword fights?

UM Law Grad Challenges Girlfriend to Naked Sword Fight?

Meet Rockledge, Florida attorney Terry Lee Locy, a UM Law grad with a self-proclaimed "intensely aggressive" style of litigation:

Terry L. Locy possesses an energetic, articulate, innovative, but most importantly, an intensely aggressive style of litigation that often leaves his opponents fuming and courtroom onlookers entertained and wanting more. In just three short years after graduation from law school, this attorney has built a thriving law practice in Central Florida with ambitions for further expansion. 

Terry is energetic alright, just ask his girlfriend:

A graduate of the University of Miami law school was arrested this week in Cocoa Beach after allegedly threatening to kill his girlfriend in a naked sword duel.

"You're going to need this," a nude Terry Lee Locy, 36, said to his live-in girlfriend as he handed her a sword, according to an arrest report from the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.

The couple had been arguing about Locy's alleged excessive drinking early Wednesday morning, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by Florida Today, when Locy took a mirror off a wall and raised it as if to strike his girlfriend.

The woman took the mirror hook from the wall and flung it at Locy, accord to the police report, causing a cut to his head.

Locy then took a shower and emerged naked to challenge his girlfriend to a duel, police say.

 See, this is an example of where Roy Black's suggestion for improving UM's legal education comes in -- if they would just spend less time on esoteric academic flights of fancy, and more time on courtroom skills and sword duels, we'd be producing not only more skilled attorneys but also better sword duelists.

BTW, I think the pre-duel shower ritual is a nice touch -- say what you want about Terry, but this is clearly a man who cares about personal hygiene.