Donald Trump Is Too Busy Talking About Obama's Birth Certificate to Appear at Mediation.

I completely agree with Judge Jordan -- why should Donald Trump have to appear at a mediation when he can send a lackey his Assistant GC Alan Garten?

Question -- does "Mr. Garten" have a true live birth certificate, or just a ginned-up-in-Kenya fancy-dancy chardonnay-stained certificate of live birth?

Or maybe it's as phony as Mr. Trump's own "birth certificate"?

Let's just put it on the table -- just who is this mysterious "Mr. Garten" and why does he have Mr. Trump's "full authority"?

I'm just asking the question!

Jim Beasley Fights to Save Donald Trump From Horrors of Airplane Noise!

It's nice to see Palm Beach litigator Jim Beasley devoting his prodigious talents toward a truly worthwhile cause:

"The Donald" and his exclusive Palm Beach island club may just have to endure sharing airspace with Palm Beach International Airport.

Circuit Court Judge Joseph Marx has dismissed Donald Trump's lawsuit aimed at redirecting flights from the county airport that the real-estate-tycoon-turned-TV-star deemed too disruptive for his Mar-a-lago Club.

Trump's suit, filed in July, targeted the noise from passing airplanes, saying they were affecting Mar-a-lago's property values as well as the ability to use the historic property.

His suit sought to bar flights over Mar-a-lago, stop proposed airport expansion and even accused Airport Director Bruce Pelly of "intentional battery" for refusing to shift flight paths or make other changes to lessen the disruptions.

"It was very far reaching," Assistant County Attorney Andrew McMahon said about Trump's lawsuit. "The issue of whether it is a 'battery' is way out there."

I'm kidding of course -- this is a very nice client for any lawyer to have.

In fact, I'll go Jim one better -- I think the mere presence of an airport anywhere in Palm Beach County constitutes an "intentional battery" on Mr. Trump and I would have the entire airport arrested and dragooned back to Broward, where it belongs.

But Jim says it's not over, over:

Trump's attorney James Beasley said Trump will re-file and keep pushing for changes at the airport.

"The current way that the county has flights out of the airport is creating a nuisance," Beasley said. "If you were ever at Mar-a-lago when an airplane is going over, you can't talk."

Trump's suit already has prompted the county to spend about $50,000 on hiring outside attorneys. If the case continues, the county's contract with the outside firm calls for up to $500,000 in additional costs.

Wait a minute -- a half-million?  That's it?

I can bill a half million to this file just sending out a 30(b)6 notice -- you guys ought to just move the airport now.